How To Calm Down In Any Situation

Have you ever felt like the stress in your life is completely overwhelming? You’re not alone. In 2022, 27% of American adults reported feeling so stressed on most days that they couldn’t function, and in 2024, 43% of adults said they feel more anxious than they did the previous year.

Whether it’s work pressure, family stress, health issues, current events, or just one of those days, these overwhelming feelings can make it feel impossible to calm down. Learning how to calm down effectively can transform your life, especially while navigating any stressful situation.

When stress hits, your body is stuck on high alert. “You’re not broken,” reassures licensed clinical social worker and trauma therapist Jennifer Hoffman. “Calming down isn't about willpower, it's about healing. And it's absolutely possible—with time, support, and the right tools.”

This guide offers strategies to help you calm down during crisis moments and build long-term resilience for whatever life throws your way.

If you’re in a crisis right now

If you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, or if you feel unsafe, reach out for help immediately. Here are some quick grounding tips while you get help:

• Run cold water on your hands or face, or hold a cold object

• Try box breathing: inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, and repeat

• Count backward from 100

Find a safe space and check out our crisis page for resources to get the support you need. You matter, and help is available.

How to calm down fast

1. When you feel anxious or panicking, control your breathing.

Why it works: Research has shown that deep breathing is an effective way to manage stress and lower cortisol levels, which helps regulate the stress levels in your body. When stress or intense emotions take over, slowing down your breath can help you regain control and calm your mind.

“One of the best tools is breathwork, because when you intentionally breathe in a manner consistent with safety, the sympathetic nervous system is soothed by the parasympathetic system, which is responsible for rest and digestion.” Dr. Deborah Vinall, PSY-D, LMFT explains.

How to do it:

• Put one hand on your belly and feel it rise and fall as you breathe

• Repeat “relax” or “let go” as you breathe out

• Use a meditation app or follow a guided breathing exercise

• Count your breaths or set a 1-minute timer

2. When you feel spaced out or can’t focus, ground yourself in the present.

Why it works: When your mind is spinning with anxious thoughts, grounding techniques bring you back to the present moment. Hoffman explains the power of ‘orienting’, which essentially involves checking in with your surroundings. “It sounds simple, but turning your head slowly, looking around the room, and noticing where you are, what you see, hear, and feel, can bring your nervous system into the present moment. It tells your brain: I’m not in danger. I’m here now.”

How to do it:

• Hold something comforting like a stress ball, a fidget toy, or a smooth stone

• Count backwards from 100 by 3s. Hoffman explains that “This works to switch on the thinking brain and get the amygdala to calm down.”

• Practice a guided meditation or mindfulness meditation 

• 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, 1 thing you can taste

3. When you feel angry or sad, feel your feelings.

Why it works: Sometimes the fastest way to calm down is to lean into what you’re feeling. Research shows that putting your feelings into words helps regulate emotions. This process is called “affect labeling” and can decrease the emotional intensity you may be feeling in the moment. When facing a strong emotion like sadness, frustration, anger, or overwhelm, acknowledging it rather than fighting it can be surprisingly effective.

How to do it:

• Set a timer for 1-2 minutes to just feel without judging yourself

• Use an emotions wheel to find words that match what you’re experiencing

• Call or text someone you trust: Sometimes just talking it out is the first step to understanding and processing what you’re feeling

• Do a body scan by mentally checking in with each part of your body from head to toe, noticing how it feels 

4. When overwhelmed or trapped, change your environment.

Why it works: Dr. Vinall reminds us that “it takes time for the adrenaline to drain from your body. When using such tools, of course, it is essential to first ensure you are in fact in a place of safety.” One study showed that even small changes to your surroundings can help lower your stress and calm your mind.

How to do it:

• Dim harsh lights or brighten a dark space

• Add nature sounds or calming music, use earplugs, or step outside

• Use familiar, comforting scents like lavender or chamomile essential oils 

• Put on a hoodie, jacket, or blanket for comfort

5. When you feel restless or wound up, move your body.

Why it works: Physical activity helps release stress and signals your body to relax (by activating the parasympathetic nervous system). Even five minutes of exercise can help calm you down. It doesn’t have to be intense—any movement that feels good for you and relieves stress counts.

How to do it:

• Try progressive muscle relaxation by gently tensing and then releasing your muscles

• Shake out your limbs, massage your shoulders, or stretch your arms

• Dance to music (seated dancing counts too)

• Walk around, or wheelchair-friendly or adaptive seated exercises

Why can’t I calm down?

Hoffman and Dr. Vinall both shared that certain mental health conditions can lead to stronger emotions and make it harder to calm down. Hoffman explains that trauma, chronic stress, anxiety disorders, ADHD, sensory processing issues, and attachment wounds can make it harder to feel safe or find a sense of calm.

Dr. Vinall adds that PTSD, panic disorder, OCD, autism spectrum disorder, and borderline personality disorder are also connected to intense emotions and may make it take longer to return to a calm state. 

Here’s what’s happening in your brain: “The amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) may be firing, while the prefrontal cortex (the rational part) goes offline. The two do not work simultaneously. The body gets flooded with stress hormones, and the person may feel out of control, ashamed, or even unsafe in their own body. That’s not a character flaw, it’s a survival response.” Hoffman explains.

Dr. Vinall adds that during this state, your sympathetic nervous system activates to prepare the body for fight or flight. “This means digestion becomes inefficient, the heart and breathing rates increase, adrenaline floods, muscles tense for action, pupils dilate to better perceive danger in low light conditions, and sweat increases to cool the body from anticipated physical exertion.”

Negative thoughts, such as self-criticism, catastrophizing, or dwelling on worst-case scenarios, can exacerbate the emotional spiral. For some people, this escalates into panic attacks: waves of intense fear, chest tightness, or feelings of impending doom. While it will eventually pass, in the moment, an anxiety attack is terrifying and overwhelming.

Hoffman reminds us, “A calming tool might help when you're just a little anxious, but when you're fully dysregulated, it may not even register. Also, some tools only address the mind, not the body, and for many people, regulation has to begin in the body.”

How to calm down long-term

“Finding calm is a process, not a switch you can flip. The more you understand what’s going on inside you, physically, emotionally, and even historically, the more compassion you can offer yourself along the way,” reassures Iyana Anderson, LSW and CEO, Well Together. “And that compassion might just be the most powerful calming tool of all.”

If progress feels slow while building your emotional health and well-being, it doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. Recognizing how you feel and wanting to make positive changes is a powerful first step. The real game-changer is creating a toolkit of strategies that support lasting resilience. Here’s how to start building that foundation.

1. When you feel cranky or burnt out, fuel your body.

Why it works: Balanced nutrition and regular physical activity play a key role in reducing stress and supporting emotional regulation. In fact, 81% of adults say they’re open to changing their diet to improve their mental health. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about giving your brain what it needs to feel and function at its best.

How to do it:

• Eat balanced meals of protein, healthy fats, and fiber 

• Don’t skip meals and stay hydrated with water 

• Consider reducing intake of nicotine, tobacco, and other substances

• Find physical activities you enjoy: walking, dancing, swimming, or adaptive exercises 

2. When you feel all over the place or exhausted, prioritize sleep.

Why it works: Quality sleep plays a huge role in how you manage emotions and stress. Experts recommend getting between 7-9 hours of sleep per night. This helps your body recover and stay calm during stressful situations. If you struggle with calming anxiety at night, establishing a routine can make a big difference.

How to do it:

• Stick to a consistent sleep schedule, even on the weekends

• Create a wind-down routine (reading, gentle stretching, meditation)

• Avoid drinking caffeine at least six hours before bed

• Make your bedroom comfortable and a screen-free zone an hour before bed

3. When you feel stressed or disconnected, spend time in nature.

Why it works: Research has shown that spending time in nature offers many cognitive and mental health benefits, including lower stress levels and improved mood. Even a brief exposure to nature can help you reset. The sweet spot? 120 minutes per week, which breaks down to less than 20 minutes per day.

How to do it:

• Take a short walk or spend a few minutes outside, even just around your neighborhood, to actually look at the trees, sky, and sounds around you 

• Visit green spaces like parks, gardens, or trails whenever possible

• Tune into natural sounds and sensations: feel the breeze, listen to the sounds of rain or birds on YouTube, or just step outside and be present for a few minutes

• Bring nature indoors with natural elements like plants, flowers, rocks, shells, or nature-inspired art to create a calming space

4. When you feel stuck or uninspired, get creative.

Why it works: Creative expression isn’t just for “artistic people.” Art therapy, dance therapy, and music therapy have shown positive benefits for mental health, including stress, trauma, depression, anxiety, and pain. Creative expression helps you process emotions, reduce stress, and reconnect with joy or meaning.

How to do it:

• Journal or write for 5-10 minutes daily

• Drawing, painting, coloring, or digital art

• Singing or playing music

• Crafting, DIY projects, or hands-on hobbies like gardening or woodworking

5. When you feel isolated or overwhelmed, connect with people.

Why it works:  About 1 in 3 adults in the U.S. report feeling lonely, which can make stress harder to manage. That’s why building regular, meaningful connections is so important—they help reduce stress and boost resilience over time. Being around people you trust tells your brain you’re safe. Spending time with pets also provides comfort and reduces stress.

How to do it:

• Spend time with people who make you feel safe and understood

• Reach out to friends or loved ones when feeling overwhelmed

• Join a group or community (online or in-person) that shares your interests or values

• Practice active listening and vulnerability in your relationships

6. When you feel you’re not coping or it’s messing with your life, get professional help.

Why it works: Working with a therapist or mental health care provider can give you personalized tools and steady support to manage stress more effectively. Many therapists use evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which teach practical skills for managing challenging emotions. 

“Trauma ingrains rapid and intense emotional reactions. Even though you might cognitively know you are safe, your emotional limbic system and your body are re-experiencing the worst moments of your life. This is not a moral failure, but a natural response to an unhealed psychological wound,” illustrates Dr. Vinall.

“The good news is there are powerful and effective therapies that can help you heal and reduce these intense emotional reactions, so that the past becomes the past and you can live freely in the present. If you are unsure about the origins of your difficulty calming, consultation with a licensed therapist could be helpful in cultivating understanding and a path forward.”

How to do it:

• Talk to a therapist about patterns that keep you stuck or anxious

• Connect with a psychiatrist to see if medication might help

• Try group therapy or support circles (in-person or online)

• Use mental health apps or helplines when you need immediate guidance

You’ve got this

Learning how to calm down takes practice. Some days will be better than others, and that’s okay. “Being gentle with yourself is key. Instead of beating yourself up for not feeling calm, try acknowledging how hard your body and mind have worked to protect you all this time, and give yourself credit for taking steps to find new ways to feel safe and at ease,” reiterates Anderson.

These strategies on how to calm down can work whether you’re facing a sudden crisis, feeling overwhelmed in daily life, or working on long-term emotional well-being. The key is to start small and pick one or two things that feel doable. You’ve got this. And if you don’t feel like you’ve got this today, that’s okay too. Tomorrow is a new chance to take care of yourself.

You deserve support, and help is always available.