Is Your Therapy Working? 12 Signs You’re Making Real Progress

You’ve been sitting in that familiar chair across from your therapist for weeks (maybe months), sharing your deepest thoughts and working through your struggles. Whether you’re in talk therapy, couples therapy, or specialized trauma treatment, you’re probably asking the million-dollar question: Is this actually working?

You’re not alone. Progress in therapy isn’t always as obvious. Unlike a broken bone that shows clear healing on an X-ray, mental health progress can feel invisible, but this doesn’t mean that change isn’t happening.

Progress in therapy isn’t always obvious

Therapy isn’t a quick fix or a straight line. You may take two steps forward, one step back, and even do an awkward shuffle before finding your rhythm again. But this doesn’t mean you’re failing—it’s evidence that you’re doing the deep work that creates lasting change.

Growth is messy, and you might feel worse before you feel better as you confront difficult truths or long-held beliefs about yourself. This temporary discomfort is a sign of progress. 

The good news? Research shows that about 75% of people who enter psychotherapy show some benefits from it. Studies also show that about half of people start to feel better after 15 to 20 therapy sessions (specifically for PTSD treatment), and many notice changes at 12 to 16 weeks.

So how can you tell if you’re among the 75% of people who benefit from therapy? Here are 12 concrete signs that indicate your sessions are creating real change.

12 signs your therapy is working

1. You feel heard and understood.

Your therapist listens without judging you, and you feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings without holding back. They remember details from your past sessions—not just the big things but the personal details that matter to you. You know this is happening when you can be completely honest about embarrassing or difficult topics. 

Your therapist gets all parts of who you are, including your culture, family dynamics, and personal background. They understand how these things shape what you go through and the challenges you face. Trust and safety are the foundation of effective therapy. The bond between you and your therapist (therapeutic alliance) is one of the strongest ways to predict if therapy will help you grow.

2. You’re more aware of your thoughts and feelings. 

You catch yourself mid-spiral and think, “Oh, there I go again.” You notice negative self-talk happening instead of just getting stuck in it for hours. This shows up when you question negative thoughts in real time or recognize triggers before they completely ruin your day. 

Your blind spots, or the repeated patterns of thinking or behaving that you couldn't see before, are finally coming into focus. Maybe you’re realizing you always think the worst will happen when you’re stressed, or you’re starting to notice how your mood shifts when you haven’t eaten. You’re developing what therapists call metacognition (the ability to think about your thinking), which is a key skill to lasting change.

3. You’re making progress on your goals. 

You’re moving toward the specific goals you set with your therapist, whether that’s setting better boundaries, reducing anxiety, or improving communication skills. Even small steps count. Maybe you used to have anxiety spirals that lasted for hours, and now they only last 10 minutes. That’s real, measurable improvement. Celebrate it! 

Progress might look like finally saying no to extra work projects, speaking up in a meeting when you disagree, or managing to have a challenging conversation without shutting down. Sometimes you notice that you didn’t do old patterns (behaviors you used to repeat). For example, you didn’t check your ex’s social media, overexplain yourself to your parents, or didn’t immediately apologize when someone else was clearly wrong.

4. You feel more hopeful. 

You’re starting to believe that change is possible and that your current struggles don’t have to last forever. You can picture a future that looks different from your right now, and you’re thinking new thoughts. You don’t see life the same way anymore, which means you can see more options and possibilities than before. 

You’re also beginning to see your own strengths and figure out what matters most to you. You’re thinking about what kind of life you want to build. This shift from feeling trapped by your circumstances to working toward change is a huge breakthrough. While therapy often starts by helping reduce difficult symptoms, it ultimately helps you build the relationships and life experiences you actually want.

5. You’re challenged, in a good way. 

Your therapist pushes you outside your comfort zone while still making you feel emotionally safe. You leave sessions with insights or strategies rather than feeling completely lost. “You know it when you feel both safe AND a little challenged. Like you don’t have to over-explain yourself, and you’re not being judged—but you’re also not just venting into a void or just complaining like you’re talking to a friend,” says Cheryl Groskopf, LMFT, LPCC.

Some therapy sessions can be emotionally demanding, like how a good workout can leave you physically tired but stronger. You might occasionally feel drained after particularly meaningful sessions or need time to process emotions that come up. But this doesn’t mean something is wrong, but rather you’re doing important work. The difference is that you feel supported throughout the process and trust that you’re moving forward at a pace that works for you.

6. You bounce back faster from setbacks. 

Life still throws curveballs, but you’re getting better at handling them. Bad days don’t automatically turn into bad weeks anymore. You’re developing emotional resilience. Maybe you still get triggered by certain situations, but instead of being stuck for days, you can work through the emotion and move forward more quickly. You’re building stronger emotional muscles.

You’re building stronger emotional muscles. This might mean you have a fight with your partner and still sleep that night instead of lying awake replaying every word. Or when you get disappointing news, you feel the initial sting, but don't spiral into “everything is terrible” thinking. You’re learning that emotions are temporary visitors, not permanent residents.

7. You process your past differently. 

Past experiences that once felt overwhelming or shameful start to lose some of their emotional intensity. You might find yourself thinking about challenging memories with more understanding and less self-blame. Old wounds don’t disappear, but they don’t control your daily life the way they used to. You can discuss painful events without falling into the same emotional patterns that once felt impossible to escape. 

This shift is particularly meaningful for anyone who has experienced trauma or tough life events. The goal isn’t to forget what happened or pretend it doesn’t matter, but to develop a different relationship with those experiences, one where you can acknowledge the pain without being consumed by it.

8. You’re trying new things outside of therapy. 

You’re actually using what you learn in therapy in your real life. Maybe you’re setting boundaries with family members, trying new coping strategies when you feel overwhelmed, or communicating more effectively in your relationships. Sometimes the “new thing” might be giving yourself permission to do less: taking breaks without guilt, asking for help instead of handling everything alone, or choosing rest over productivity when you need it.

Groskopf explains an example from couples therapy: “It usually shows up in the small moments before the big ones. The same fight might still happen, but it doesn’t drag on the way it used to. Someone takes a pause instead of raising their voice. There’s more listening, less interrupting.”

9. Others notice something different about you. 

Friends, family members, partners, or colleagues begin mentioning that you seem different somehow—perhaps calmer, more present, or more confident. These observations can be particularly valuable because we often struggle to recognize our own progress, especially when we tend to be hard on ourselves. Sometimes the shifts happening in therapy become visible to others before we fully recognize them ourselves.

You might hear things like “You seem more relaxed lately,” or “You handled that situation really well.” Since therapy provides an outside perspective on your life, it makes sense that people around you might notice changes in your demeanor, communication style, or general presence as you continue to grow and heal.

10. Your symptoms are improving. 

You’re noticing concrete improvements in your day-to-day experience: less frequent or intense anxiety, better sleep quality, increased energy levels, better focus, or improved appetite.

Groskopf explains the differences between therapeutic modalities and what you may be noticing: CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), IFS (internal family systems), and somatic therapy. “Each approach has its own feel. With CBT, progress often means you catch a thought before you spin out. In IFS, you begin to notice the different “parts” of yourself with more compassion. Somatic therapy shows up in the body — your breath gets fuller, your shoulders release without you forcing it, you recover quicker after stress or conflict.”

11. Your relationships are changing. 

You’re communicating more effectively, having better conversations, even difficult ones. You feel more confident about being your true self around others and worry less about making everyone happy, also known as people pleasing.

When you understand yourself better, you can create more space to show up differently or in new ways in your relationships.  But remember that gaining self-awareness doesn’t instantly change how you interact with others (just as knowing exercise is good for your health doesn’t automatically mean you exercise every day). Understanding your patterns is just the beginning. Change in relationships takes time and practice, but that deeper self-knowledge creates a foundation for meaningful shifts in how you connect with others.

12. You’re building better coping tools. 

You’re replacing old, unhelpful coping methods with healthier alternatives. Whether it’s doing what you can instead of overthinking, taking deep breaths when stressed, or counting to ten before reacting. You have a toolkit for managing life’s challenges that you use in real situations. 

For example, instead of scrolling through social media when stressed, you might take a walk or call a friend. Instead of bottling up anger, you might engage in physical activity, or practice deep breathing. Journaling for mental health is another technique, but the key is to find coping strategies that work for your lifestyle and personality.

Tracking your progress

Many therapists use measurement-based care to track how therapy is going. This means regularly checking your symptoms, life satisfaction, readiness to make changes, and feedback about the therapy process itself. These check-ins can help you and your therapist notice patterns and celebrate improvements that might otherwise go unseen.

You can track similar things on your own, such as paying attention to:

• How quickly you bounce back from difficult emotions

• Changes in your thought patterns

• Better relationships with others

• Improvements in physical symptoms (sleep, energy, appetite)

• Using coping strategies successfully in life

Pro tip: Adara Anderson, LPC, BC-TMH, recommends taking notes during sessions, whether on a notepad or on your phone, and also between sessions. “Take notes in between sessions about thoughts or feelings, things you want to discuss with your therapist or want their opinion on, highs and lows, things that went well, or areas of struggle. Additionally, try to be present, limit distractions, ask questions, and ask your therapist about your goals and progress from time to time.”

When therapy isn’t working

Not every therapist is the right fit for every person, and that’s okay. Key warning signs include:

• Consistently feeling worse after sessions

• Never discussing goals or therapy progress

• Feeling judged rather than supported 

Ask yourself, “Am I being challenged in a supportive way that leads to growth?” 

✨ Steve Burns, the former Blue’s Clues host, shares how he finally “asked for help” from a therapist to face his depression and found unexpected inspiration in his character’s message of seeking support.

Making the most of your therapy

Show up consistently. Regular sessions maintain momentum and build on previous work. Think of it like taking a weekly fitness class, meeting with a coach, or having weekly language tutoring sessions: consistency is what creates progress and lasting change. Research shows that people who had more frequent therapy sessions in the first three months were more likely to feel better. 

Use what you learned. Practice new skills and strategies between sessions—this is where real change happens. The biggest breakthroughs often occur when you apply therapy tools to your daily life.

Be honest and open. The more authentic you are, the more your therapist can help you. Share what’s really going on, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Set clear, realistic goals. Work with your therapist to define what success means to you. Whether that’s managing anxiety more effectively, improving relationships, or working through trauma.

Give feedback. Tell your therapist what’s working and what isn’t. Therapy is a collaborative process. Your input helps them adjust their approach to better serve you.

Trust your instincts

The therapy process is a journey, not a destination. Progress isn’t always linear, and setbacks and ups and downs are normal. The goal isn’t to be happy all the time or avoid all of life’s complex emotions.

Give yourself grace while also trusting your instincts about whether your current situation is serving you. The right therapeutic relationship can be life-changing. You deserve to feel heard, understood, and supported as you work toward your goals.

Therapy takes both time and financial investment, and everyone has their own definition of what “working” means—whether that’s symptom relief, better relationships, increased self-awareness, or simply feeling more hopeful about the future.

If you’re ready to start your therapy journey, remember that asking for help is a brave first step toward the life you want to build. Whether you’re tackling anxiety, relationship issues, depression, or simply trying to understand yourself better, therapy offers a safe space to dive deep, work through challenges, and develop skills that will transform your relationship with yourself and others. The right therapeutic support can help you not just cope with life’s difficulties, but thrive.